Flight of the Conchords DVD

1. Bret: This is another one of your weird songs, man.
   Jemaine: In what way?
   Bret: That bit, ’sometimes I put a wig on you when we’re on tour.’
   Jemaine: Put a wig on you? No. Didn’t say anything like that.
   Bret: That’s definitly a bit gay.
   Jermane: What is?
   Bret: Putting a wig on me while I’m asleep.
   Jemaine: I think, sometimes you hear what you want to hear.
   Jemaine: It wouldn’t be gay to put a wig on a man and pretend they’re a woman. How can that be gay if you’re pretending they’re a woman?
   Jemaine: Not that I did that.
2. Jemaine: Receiving transmission from David Bowie’s nipple antennae, do you read me, lieutenant Bowie?
3. Bret: After 6 or 7 weeks, girls find me boring. But I’m not sure what happens because I think that’s how long it takes to get to know someone.
4. Jemaine: You know when I’m down to just my socks, it’s business time. That’s why they call them business socks.
5. Jemaine: My rhymes are so potent that in this small segment I made all of the ladies in the first two rows pregnant.
6. Jemaine: I can’t believe I’m sharing a kebab with the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen with a kebab.
7. Bret: Binary solo! 0000001! 00000011! 000000111! 0000001111!
8. Jemaine: He begun to cry dragon tears. Which as we all know turn into jellybeans!
9. Jemaine: Outta sight
   Bret: Amazin’ ladies
   Jemaine: Late night
   Bret: Hard workin’ ladies
   Jemaine: Erudite
   Bret: Brainy ladies
   Jemaine: Hermaphrodite
   Bret: Lady-man-ladies
   Jemaine: Oh you sexy lady-man-ladies
   With your sexy lady bits
   And your sexy man bits too
   Even you must be in to you ooo ooo
10. Bret: A man is lying on the street some punk has chopped off his head and I’m the only one who stops to see if he’s dead………. ooooo.. turns out he’s dead.
11. Bret:I want to tell her she’s hot but I don’t want her to think I’m sexist….she’s so hot she’s making me sexist!
12. Bret: David Bowie, Can I ask you a personal question?
    David Bowie: Of course Bret, that’s what I’m here for.
    Bret: Would it be considered gay if your best friend, when he was lonely, put a wig on you and pretended you were a woman?
    David Bowie: He pretended you were a woman……No that’s not gay.

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Episode 1 Sally
Jemaine and Bret go to a party at Dave’s place. Jemaine meets the most beautiful girl in the room who is also Bret’s old girlfriend.

Episode 2 Bret Gives up the Dream
Bret misses a gig and Murray kicks him out of the band. Bret meets a new girl while on his sign-holding job.

Episode 3 Mugged
Jemaine has abandonment issues after Bret leaves him with muggers.

Episode 4 Yoko
Jemaine gets jealous and thinks Bret’s girlfriend is trying to spit up the band. He likens her Yoko. Jemaine works on a song about Bret’s girlfriend. Mel is jealous.

Episode 5 Sally Returns
Jemaine and Bret battle for the affections of Sally. Jemaine needs to find his own place so he rents a cleaning closet.

Episode 6 Bowie
Bret gets body issues and gets help from David Bowie in his dreams. Jemaine writes a song called “Bret you got it going in” to cheer him up.

Episode 7 Drive by
Jemaine and Bret have a bit of a race war. Murray falls in love with the tech support girl.

Episode 8 Girlfriends
Bret and Jemaine both get girlfriends. Bret is pressured into sex.

Episode 9 What Goes on Tour
Murray organizes a tour in preparation for a big gig in Central Park.

Episode 10 New Fans
The band does a gig and acquire 2 new fans … to Mel’s dismay.

Episode 11 The Actor
The guys hire an actor to pretend to be a record executive.

Episode 12 The Third Conchords
Murray hires a bongo player while at the dentist high on Novocaine - Bret and Jemaine but heads with Todd.